R Rated Reality

This afternoon I watched the documentary ‘Bully' a movie that successfully captures how real the problem of bullying in America really is.  The movie follows five different adolescent students whom are all victimized by bullies on a day-to-day basis.  To say the movie is moving would be an understatement, as a commenter proclaims "Hirsch (producer) gives voice to the voiceless, and his movie dispels forever the myth that "kids-will-be-kids" and bullying is a harmless rite of passage. "BULLY" will move you while you’re watching it and long afterwards".  I truly believe that this movie has huge potential to improve the problem of Bullying thought America.  For if every student watched this movie awareness of the impact bullying can have would greatly rise; yet the movie is rated R.  The movie was originally given such a harsh rating due to language.  As Reuters the direct states, "Never in a million years did I think we would have an R-rated movie. The spirit of it never felt R-rated. We set out to show what really happens, what these kids go through and what bullying looks like. (The curse words) are incredibly meaningful in the context of the film. Language carries power. That's how bullying takes place".  It’s important to note that the film’s distributors had the option of removing controversial aspects of the film. Which in turn would have resulted in a broader audience due to less sever ratings and therefore leading to more profit.  Yet the distributers were not concerned about money instead they were concerned about the message of the film,"(the message) needs to be made available to children and teens in as pure a form as possible, and sanitizing the language serves to strip the film of some of its meaning. Bullying is harsh, and the language of bullying is equally so". The fact that this film was rated R is in turn meaning it’s inappropriate for children, but this is what children deal with every day! This is reality.  The fact that children are being shielded on TV from what goes on at their own school is laughable.

  

Words CAN Hurt

As I delve into research for my junior theme, I have begun to uncover some very insightful, powerful and thought provoking materials.  One that has had a lasting impression is a poem called "To This Day".  Shane Koyczan the author of this powerful piece of art wrote this poem "to further explore the profound and lasting impact that bullying can have on an individual".   I REALLY encourage you to watch the video below, please take note of the enthusiasm and power he possesses.

 

                                     Koyczan performing "To This Day" at Ted Talks 2013

A recurring theme Koyczan entertains is the contrast between physical and mental pain: 

"surrounded by people who used to say
that rhyme about sticks and stones
as if broken bones                                                                                                                                  hurt more than the names we got called"

From the preceding two lines I believe that "as if" is very important in showing Koyczan’s stance and the great degree these hurtful words harmed him.  Where did the rhyme about sticks and stones come from anyway? I discovered these words derived from "The Christian Recorder of March 1862",  this poem is almost one hundred and fifty years old, wow.  When Koyczan says he was 'surrounded by people' who told him this rhyme we can infer he is talking about authority figures such as parents, grandparents, coaches and teachers.  But is that still the case today?  Of coarse in some aspects it is.  But I strongly believe that authority figures are beginning to change the rhyme too: 

"Sticks and stones can break your bones but words can also (really) hurt you"

The evidence is all around us, even at our own school! In the New Trier manual it is stated under board of education policy 7-25, “As a school district, we are committed to protecting our students from any form of physical or verbal abuse".   The fact that both 'physical' and 'verbal' abuse is stated in the same sentence shows that neither abuse is more sever than the other.  The fact that verbal abuse is prohibited shows that the school believes words do hurt.  Furthermore, Last year the slogan for national anti bullying week was “Stop and think – words can hurt”.  Clearly they are focused on verbal abuse not physical abuse as it say’s "this year’s campaign focuses on tackling verbal bullying, getting rid of derogatory language, words and expressions that are homophobic, racist, and sexist".   Clearly verbal bullying is viewed to be equally as harmful and damaging as physical abuse.  But what indorsed the switch of authority figures being dismissive of verbal abuse in the past too today: authority figures believing that verbal abuse is just as harmful as physical abuse? 

A Very Real Problem in America

           “Be Kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle,” a Greek Philosopher once said.  They had it right in 427 BC, for everyone you know is fighting a hard battle whether socially, economically, physically, or mentally.  Why make this battle harder than it has to be for a fellow human being?  That’s what 13 million kids ask them selves each year.   High school is hard enough for teens whom are required to balance academics, athletics, extra curricular activities, and friends.  Yet, when a teen is harassed on a day-to-day basis the dynamics change.  Their life is consumed by worry and fear for their own well-being.  The harassment strips the target of any confidence and in many tragic cases takes away their will to live.  Over half of teen suicides are linked to bullying.   And on this very day 160,000 students did not attend school due to their fear of attack or intimidation by other students.   These statistics should stop us in our tracks, and force us to identify that there is a very, very real problem going on: bullying. 

In America today weakness is often times viewed as failure; we do everything we can to build up the outside even if on the inside we are distraught.  Many teens associate being a victim of bullying to being weak.  Teens want to disguise any signs of weakness from close friends and family, so they keep their walls up and when they eventually cannot take the harassment any longer they crack. "Why don't you go home and shoot yourself, no one will miss you" this is what a classmate told Eric Mohat, and he indeed took it literally (ABC News' information specialist Melissa Lenderman).   Instead of enduring one more day of the name-calling, teasing and constant pushing and shoving Eric Mohat took his own life.  He put an end to everything he has ever known due to the words and actions of his classmates.  He not only destroyed his own life, but his parent’s lives as well; "When you lose a child like this it destroys you in ways you can't even describe".  Teens don’t realize how harmful their actions can really be; this single teen destroyed three lives in one breath. We often underestimate the power our words have.  Words received have the ability to hang in our heads and eventually turn into actions of destruction. Yet, a few simple words can even save a life.  We can fight the battle with a few powerful words.

                                             Eric Mohat 

An Unlikely Parallel

        While browsing the National Geographic website I came across an article that instantly grabbed my attention: Millions of Young Girls Forced into Marriage.  I had definitely heard of child marriages before but never did it occur to me that this was happening to 'Millions' of girls.  As I dove into the article I found even more startling facts; "One out of nine girls in developing countries will be married by age 15".  This shows how huge this problem is.  Parents often encourage child marriage due to economic concerns.  Many times a daughter is the only form of "currency" a family has, or the only commodity a family has left to trade.  Not only are these young girls forced to do something against their will but they are also forced to engage in sexual relations with there spouse, "Girls ages l0-14 are five times more likely to die in pregnancy or childbirth than women aged 20-24 and girls aged 15-19 are twice as likely to die".  These statistics show the great danger that comes along with young pregnancies, and therefore child marriages.  After marriage these girls are expected to run a household and raise children, therefore they are forced to grow up too fast.  

           In parallel, some young girls in America are facing similar circumstances to these child brides: the stars from 'Toddlers and Tiaras'.  These young girls are heavily encouraged and usually forced by their parents to participate in pageant shows that require hours of pampering and are purely focused on outer beauty.  These toddlers get spray tans, fake nails, fake eyelashes, fake teeth, colored contacts, and heaps of makeup are applied to their tiny faces on top of all that they are dressed in inappropriate clothing.  

As a viewer states "These poor girls are being exploited before millions of national viewers at every level. At the most tender of age, they are being told to show more skin, sashay seductively and diet".  Clearly this show is faced with controversy, but its still a very popular TV show and has been on air for several years.  Not only does this send the wrong message for girls, but similarly to the girls being forced in to marriage these young American girls are forced to shed their innocence too early.  They are unwillingly forced by they’re parents to engage in an activity.  In both cases it helps the parents economically, in child weddings the parents no longer have to support their daughter and in pageant shows the winner is rewarded with large amounts of cash.  Both child marriages and pageant shows force young girls to grow up too fast.  For in child marriages girls are forced to take care of a family and pageant girls are forced to look a certain way and care about how they look, which takes away the innocence of childhood.  I believe pageants spoil the charm and innocence that childhood so delicately holds. 

The Problem with Service Trips

              With summer slowly approaching, I have begun thinking about plans for what I am going to do.  Something I was briefly but keenly interested in the New Trier in India trip.  This trip consists of two weeks of traveling around India, at the whooping expense of 5,322 dollars.  The trip is considered a service trip because students contribute to building a school in a poverty stricken village.  I believe that students who go on this trip and teachers or sponsors involved in trips like these have the greatest of intentions, but should stop to consider whether or not they are making the greatest impact possible. 

Malnourished man in India 

             While doing research on the cost of living in India, I discovered that on average a decent meal ranges from 10 to 20 rupees, which is 0.37 cents in American Dollars.  This means that if you put the 5,332 Dollars toward feeding India, one could supply over 14,410 meals to hungry human beings.  This amount of money could also supply three meals over the course of twelve years for one individual.  So whose lives are we implying are ‘worth more’?  Is it the students who pay an outrageous amount of money purely to experience India or the starving malnourished Indians who could benefit tremendously by the money the students pay?  A trip to India consists of leisure and fun.  One is introduced to a new culture. Students may interact with a few needy children at an orphanage, but in a matter of days these students get to go back to their privileged lives, and leave these malnourished deprived people in the dust. This story even appeared in the Chicago Tribune.  The point of view of one of the New Trier board members is very similar to my own "(he) said the travel costs would be better suited as a donation to the cause, rather than to give a small group of students an international experience".  Clearly he believes that in the bigger picture the cause is more important than an individual's experience. The graph below shows the soaring rates of poverty, and highlights the needs many people in India are facing. 

          These needs should not be ignored.  There is a great irony here, Wealthy American students pay a ridiculous amount of money to view the deprived community, but the money they are using could have reduced some of this poverty.   I’m not trying to discourage travel or one's desire for exploration but instead to raise awareness and possibly encourage individuals to change travel habits.  Instead of paying outrageous amounts of money to stay in fancy Western styled hotels and restaurants, why not engulf your self in the culture? Live like the locals.  This will not only keep the cost of the trip down but allow the Americans to really relate to the locals.  

Stop the Impulses

Just in the past week Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg proposed a law that would demand that all stores to keep cigarettes that are for sale out of sight.  I completely support this law; I think a law like this would have great potential to decrease the amount of smokers in America.  Mayor Bloomberg says; “The campaign is intended to shield children from tobacco marketing and to keep people who have quit smoking from buying cigarettes on impulse”.   This has tremendous potential to improve the quality of life for many Americans, yet there is still opposition.  This opposition is rooted in money and comes from advertisers and convenience store owners.  These are the people who make a profit off buyers.  As James Calvin the president of the New York Association of Convenience Stores says, “We think it’s patently absurd”.  Well I think it's absurd that there are 7, 000 New Yorkers a year dying from smoking cigarettes. As with anything else that is not illegal, Americans have the freedom to do things that are bad for their health, but in the end it is beneficial to limit the accessibility of those vices.  Additionally, with the emergence of universal health care the health of all Americans is an even more important national issue.  Why wouldn’t we do everything possible to reduce this number?  This dilemma of profit vs health says a lot about our society, and where Americans are placing their values.  Americans such as James Calvin clearly care more about their own profit than the well being of fellow human beings. 

The Standard of Our Society

               As Junior year continues to pick up and the stress of grades and ACT scores increases, so does the topic of Adderall.  It has been evident to me that the amount of my peers who take or are subscribed to Adderall is on the increase. Furthermore research shows that “34.5% of college students admitting use (of Adderall) in 2012” these observations and statistics show that a large amount of students depend on this drug.  It is important to note that 53.5 percent of these Adderall users attain the drug from a peer, meaning they are not prescribed, therefore these individuals don’t truly need the drug since it is meant for kids with ADD.  I asked my classmate her reasoning for taking Adderall; “It helps me a lot when studying for big tests and when I have to write really long papers, it helps me focus”. We can conclude that these individuals use Adderall to keep up with high demands imposed by society.   A situation where students are unable to keep up with the demands of a society doesn’t suggest that an individual is faulty, but instead that the society is faulty.   A society should be based on the capabilities of individuals; individuals should not be obligated to use “smart” drugs just to meet standards a society sets.  This shows a serious fault in our society since, its demands are outweighing our capabilities.  Clearly there is a problem if the only way we can keep up with society is through drugs.  Therefore I believe that schools regardless of prestige should offer more engaging and active ways of learning.  I think schools should offer hands on learning that engages students in an active way rather than imposing hours of memorization that is improved by assistance from drugs like Adderall.